Betrayal

Episode I

I was unpacking my bag when I got a notification from Facebook which happens to be a friend request from one Jide Babalola, I quickly accepted after going through His profile.

I was about going back to my clothes when his message dropped
” Hello Miss, how are you? “
I sat down close to my clothes in order to reply to his message. You won’t blame me; I just opened an account on Facebook after much persuasion from my best friends; Halima and Tolu.

“Facebook is the happening thing and just maybe you can meet your true love on facebook,” Tolu said to me one evening while we were having our normal girl’s talk“.

I replied “I am fine and you “. He replied immediately and I was on my phone chatting with him for like two hours.
We connected so well and immediately my gullible mind was already planning a future with him.

Tolu was the first person to return from work and since Tolu and I were much closer, it took me nothing to start telling her about Jide.

She was so happy for me and started saying so many sweet things concerning how before we know it ,we will get married and how there are many stories of couples who met through Facebook bla bla bla.

I was smiling and stylishly telling her to stop giving this simple chat large meaning even though in my head I am praying for it .

After about 30minutes Halima came back from work and somehow Tolu did not want me to tell Halima about Jide.
Every time I try talking about it, she will bring something up; at some point I got tired and sent her a chat on WhatsApp.

” why are you distorting my conversation? “

She replied. ” I know you want to tell her about Jide,do not trust everyone!”.

Somehow I became cold.
I know Halima to be a fault finder and can quarrel for Africa because she is super sensitive but I do not see her as a jealous person.

Halima and Tolu are always dragging one thing or the other which made the two of them cat and rat in the room.

Apparently, I brought the two of them together. We all graduated from School of Health Sciences Ile Ife were I studied Orthopaedic Surgery and Traumatology.

Halima studied Chemical Pathology and Tolu studied Nursing Science.

Tolu was my friend from way back secondary school and we met again in the university while I met Halima one hot afternoon reading under a mango tree behind my class room and decided to join her, from there we exchanged numbers and became close pals.

Since the day i introduced Tolu and Halima they are always having issues, fight over little things and I try not to get involve.

After dinner that night,I went straight to my phone while Halima was busy doing some work on her system and Tolu was listening to some RNB music on her phone while nodding her head to the beat and was chatting at the same time.

Jide later called in the night after we exchange number. His voice is something to kill for!

I love his deep baritone voice. I was blushing and I literally did everything I was supposed to do before going to bed with him on the phone.

Few days after meeting Jide, Tolu still did not want me to tell Halima about Jide and by this time Jide and I were already close. I had gotten used to him and knew when he will call, when he is at work and when he is going out for lunch.

One evening while Jide was calling I tried receiving the call in the room but Tolu gave me a sign to go outside;it was kind of weird but I obliged.

I got back into the house and Halima said ” When are you planning on telling me about Him“
Before I could say a word Tolu said “ Don’t mind her Halima, she is trying to protect her first love . she has not even told me about him“

I was speechless, the next thing Tolu did was to come to where I was and began shaking my body
” lover girl ,lover girl, when do we start keeping secret from each other ehn”?

I felt like scratching her face so she can stop the drama.

I finally replied Halima ” I am still trying to know him before I introduce him to you “

Halima replied “ that is fine, just be careful.“

Tolu concord and said ” Make sure you don’t keep secrets from us “

Episode II

In my head I was thinking” what is wrong with this girl?”
Why is she trying to paint me black in front of Halima when from the onset she was against me telling Halima?

I could not make sense out of her display which made me restless and wanted to pour out my mind but had to cover up with a smile .

We went about our evening and my mind needed some answers from Tolu but she acted busy so I let it slide.

The next day I over heard Halima and Tolu arguing from the kitchen and I could hear Halima saying” stop spying into my chats,I do not like it. You are so dubious for my liking“

I went to meet them and Tolu replied her allegations ” What are you hiding if you are clean, rubbish!
You go about like saint but you are more evil than devil”

Halima responded ” You are a frustrated human being. Go with you envious spirit ,I never wanted you to join your money in getting this apartment because I know you are filled with trouble , yarinya mahaukaci”

Tolu replied “ If you aren’t scared of me speak English and stop speaking your language, Olori buruku ,ọlọgbọn obinrin”

I had to drag Halima out and asked her what the problem was and she said Tolu is fond of spying on her phone as If they are sharing one phone.

I tried resolving the issue and everyone went back to normal but not without warning Tolu to stop spying on Halima’s Phone which she gave me the whatever look.

I decide to invite Jide to our apartment before going on a date with him. At about 7:30pm he drove into our compound with his white SUV car and I could not help but drool as he walked with authority to our door, I quickly left the window where I was spying from and went into my room.

I just wanted to act like a wife they will call out to greet her husband to be .

After twenty minutes of waiting I expected Tolu to come and call me since she is the only one at home but she didn’t .

I waited for like three more minutes and no trace of her coming so I decided to go out my self.
Only to see Jide and Tolu ….

Episode III

I saw Tolu laughing so hard and was very close to Jide with half of her boobs all out .

They happen to be engrossed on Tolu’s phone watching only God knows what, I had to hit my palms together for them to realize I was in the room and Tolu did not see it fit to move until Jide stood up to hug me.

Somehow my spirit was demoralized and I just wanted to leave the house immediately.
We said pleasantries and Jide complemented my look,I guess he notice my mood and wanted to make me feel better and relax.

I said “thank you“

Tolu stood up and came back with a tray of orange juice with 2glasses.

She dropped the tray on the centre table filled the cups with orange juice, handed one to Jide and took one for her self.

Jide said to her ” What of my baby’s drink“
Tolu smiled and said ” She is not a visitor na, she can help her self“.

I told Jide to feel at home while I quickly dress up so we leave for the date.

I came back fifteen minutes later and you can tell I did everything in a rush.

Tolu and Jide were talking, I decided to sit and join in the conversation before we leave so I don’t look paranoid.

Tolu turned to me with her hands on my laps
” Jide said he likes Vegetable soup which means I will need to teach you how to make it, you know your vegetable soup is always watery ” she burst into a loud laugh while tickling me.

I don’t get it, Am I supposed to laugh at her insensitive joke?
I stood up with a smile and said
“ I am ready Jide“
Tolu followed us out and it took the spirit of the lord in me not to shout at her to stop chocking us.

When we got to the door I turned to her and said “Thank you ,you can go back now”
She gave me the really look and I nodded with my eyelids up.

She turned to Jide with her body shaking like worm” I hope to see you again. I will call you concerning the the book” she said.

Jide replied “ okay then,thank you for your hospitality“.

The drive to the venue was in silence,at intervals Jide will ask me if everything is fine.
” I am fine ” that was all I was saying.

We got to the venue ,he opened the car door and the restaurant door for me.
The restaurant was filled with guest luckily we saw an empty seat. He brought the chair out from the table for me to sit and I said ” Thank you“

I ordered for snail and malt, I lost appetite due to Tolu’s behavior but I didn’t want to raise his suspicion.

He ordered for real meal and as he was taking every bite he was looking at me.
I raised my head from my food to see him staring at me and I opened my eyes in shock and confusion which made him laugh exposing his fine dentition.

As he laughed his eyes go dim and his lips parting as if it was calling me.

I was lost in thought when I felt his hands on my fingers and my body shocked.

He said ” anyone ever told you how captivating your eyes are? They got me by mare looking at your pictures”

I smiled and hit his arms. I managed to ask him to continue with his food because it was getting cold.

Thankfully the dinner wasn’t ruined.
He officially asked me out and I said yes; immediately he brought out a promise ring and slid it into my right marriage finger.

It was as if I was dreaming, I could not wait to show Tolu and Halima my ring and how sweet Jide was.

The butterflies in my tummy made me forget the insult Tolu gave me.
He took me home, kissed my forehead and said goodnight.

If not for the sake of not looking cheap and desperate, I would have dragged him into a kiss but I held my self and counted my steps as I walked into my apartment.

Immediately I entered inside Tolu jump on my body and gave me a tight hug and and could not wait for me to relax before asking me millions of questions at once.

“You can’t understand this human” I said to my self.
Halima was just smiling as she adjusted her laptop so she can hear me out.

I explained everything to them, they said their well wishes and we retired to bed.
I kept staring at my promise ring at every given opportunity and was imagining how my engagement ring will be like and how I will feel.

Eight months since Jide and I made it official and truth be told he was a sweetheart and a blessing but we were having communication issues and he is always busy .

By this time I was already working and the nature of my job can be tedious and time consuming some times but in all I try to create time for us while my partner is always giving me reasons why we can’t spend quality time together.

If I try complaining he will tag it to nagging,it will some times lead to misunderstanding which will make us stay for weeks without talking to each other.

He will come back and we will start better and sweeter. One of our come back he asked me to come over to his house so we can actually talk through.

As I got to his street I saw Tolu on the other side of the street ,I am sure it was her. If I should see her in the dark I will still know her .
I saw Tolu go into Jide compound and my heart skipped. I called her cell phone number and asked where she was and she said “I went to meet one of my boyfriends, is there a problem?“

I replied ” no no problem at all, I saw someone like you entering Jide’s compound”

She stammered and said “whaaat will I be looking for there,I have to go now have fun“

I felt a bit relax and released a “thank you Jesus “

I got to Jide’s apartment and was knocking for about twenty five minute before he opened the door and was acting like someone who was sleeping.

He apologized for keeping me standing and planted a kiss on my lips. Jide knew I was deeply in love with him so he was using my mumu button.

Episode IV

He entertained me and we made out that day.
I found my self in his house the next day with no idea of how the previous day went.

The last thing I could remember was that I drank an orange juice which he poured in a glass for me.

My head was banging and my eyes were swollen. As I was trying to get up from his king size bed, he entered the room with a tray filled with fruits, tea, toast bread and cups.

He said “relax beautiful, allow me serve you“
I smiled and relaxed my head on the pillow.

He served me and practically fed me on his bed after which he took me to the shower. I got a good bath and begged him to quickly take me home.

I got home and realized my phone was off. Immediately I got home Halima ran to me and was asking series of question at once.

I said “I am fine. I was with Jide “

Halima replied “ why didn’t you call to say you are not coming and Tolu did not come back too, not that I care about her.”

I was shocked Tolu did not come back but due to my heavy head I asked Halima to let me rest, I will call her later.

She replied while helping me into my room “no need of calling her, let her stay there“
I gave out a smile. I got to my room and went straight to bed, my body felt useless to me.

In the evening I told Halima I feel like I was drugged because I don’t really understand how I slept off and she tried making me to overlook it, maybe I was very tired before now and everything just came out.

Tolu came back in the evening with a car, i mean a brand new Red Kia Seltos Car and I could not curtail my happiness.

I was jumping up and down and asked her for the keys so we drive around and she replied me by saying ” It is not a public bus na, babe chill. be happy for me and lets move in and move on from the car“

I wanted the ground to open, thank God no outsider was around. Halima told her congratulations and went inside.

After the car incident I tried avoiding her and began giving her cold attitude. Few weeks later she got me a package and dropped it on my lap while i was working on my system and went out side to make a call.

I gave out a sigh and opened the package which contains: icecream and meat pie with a little note which reads “I might have messed up that day because you have been giving me cold attitude unlike you. Please my love I am sorry, you took it too far. I never meant it in a bad way. Please forgive me and eat my little gift if you have forgiven me”

I could not stop giggling like a small child. I hugged her from the back while she was on call. Her last statement during her conversation was “De“

somehow the word caught my attention, but I shove it up. I hugged her, thanked her for the gifts and we went back to normal. she told me about her boyfriend who is super rich and promised to introduce him to us soon.

3years into an on and off, draining, exhausting relationship with Jide, I went to his house un-announce and Jide took forever to open the door and when he came to the door this was his word.
“ It is better you go home because what is inside my house can send you to the hospital “

Episode VI

I looked at him with a confuse, half smiling, puzzled face and I could not utter a word. I just turned around and moved!
He did not come running after me.
He didn’t come begging.
He did not come to me to tell me he was joking.
He watched me leave and I drained myself with my own tears.

What I felt that day, can’t be explained because my heart was in pieces and it hurt so bad that I could not hurt him back.

I was taking every step with a prayer leaving my lips” God let him come begging”

How can I live without you Jide?

It wasn’t making sense,how can someone I love, someone who made me feel I am the only one stand in front of me with so much guts and boldness while spiting that rubbish.

I manage to get home and I went straight to bed. My pillow had to bear the pain because as my heart was breaking, I was squeezing the life out of my pillow with hot tears flowing.

Halima came to sit on my bed without asking what was wrong and she said ” No matter what,always know I love you and I am here if you need me”

It was as if her words opened the gate of my tears, and I allowed it flow.

I guess Halima drugged the Coffee she gave me because I slept for straight sixteen hours .

When I woke up I saw my favourite food beside me with cold juice and a sweet note.
Halima walked in with cupcakes and said ” get a bath, eat your food and then this”
I allowed a sincere smile out and I could not stop saying thank you .

Tolu did not come back neither did Jide call.

After 2Days with no sign of Tolu or a word from her .
I decided to call her, she did not pick. With a frowning face Halima then asked me
” Why are you bothering your self about her,let her be”
I was shocked at her and asked her if she isn’t sacred of her safety and she assured me Tolu is fine and is definitely doing some evil things somewhere.

I smiled and went to the kitchen to fix something for us to eat.
It been 2days no word from Jide, not even a flash.
Two days with questions that I can’t find the answers within.
Two days with constant headache, wishes and self-torture. Two days with night filled with tears and regrets.

I went to take a shower when I got back to my phone, I saw Jide’s missed call and I could not believe my eyes and what came out from my mouth was” yessss”.

I rushed to meet Halima and told her I got a miss call from Jide and the look on Halima’s face was that of disappointment.

” You won’t understand ” I said out loud

She replied ” be careful darling”

I smiled, I quickly got dressed for the night and rushed to my phone. As I was about checking my phone his call came in, With my heart racing I picked and his voice filled my ears” Hello beautiful“

I could not say a word, I hated the fact my emotions were selling me out.
He said again” I am deeply sorry beautiful, I am useless without you, I can’t think straight, and I realize you are my life. I mean the sweetness of my life.”

By this time, my teeth were biting my lower lips and my tears were flowing with reckless abandon.

He kept on talking and seeing that I won’t reply he said the word that broke my bone
” Realizing I can’t do without you please be my wife. “

“Whaaaaaaat”

Waa the word that came out of my mouth.
He said “ yes beautiful, please don’t say no. I was away so to know if truly I should do this. I have no fear about you again. Please say yes“

Episode VII

I managed to say ” make me believe this is true. “
he said “come over to the house tomorrow “ I cut the call and was crying and laughing at the same time.

My Heart began to play tricks with me. One telling me to say No while the other was reminding me of how sweet he is.

I could not sleep throughout the night at some point I had to go to the parlor to join Halima in watching her Favorite soap Opera the Johnson’s.

She looked at me and said ” I know he is back into your life,I just pray you see things clearly and make the right choice“
She came close to me and said
“ You are beautiful,you are smart,you are kind and you are a Queen. Do not let anyone make you feel less or use you “

I squint my eyes and look into her eyes and saw concern mixed with true love.

At about 2am, we heard heavy knocks on our door, I quickly went for kitchen knife and Halima went for bottle.

I went close to the door with my heart in my mouth and heard ” Chi is me, Tolu. please open the door”
I told Halima is Tolu, Halima refused us opening the door that she doesn’t trust that girl.

I begged her and she said no, immediately she locked the door and threw the key out of the window.
I was shocked.
“How could you, why did you do that?“

Halima replied ” One day you will know why I hate her so bad“

I became helpless and sat down on the floor.I could not stand Tolu knock and beg I went to my room and prayed to God to please protect her.

By 8am Halima opened the door with spare key, and we found Tolu sleeping on the floor with swollen eyes and a big cut on her head.

Halima hissed and went inside. I was so angry at her and kept shouting her name so she can help me carry Tolu inside.

Halima replied ” death sentence is good for Boyfriend snatchers.”
I was puzzled and then went to meet her trying to find out why she made that statement but all effort was abortive, so I let it slide.

I helped Tolu in, dressed her wound, clean her up and gave her some liquid before placing her on the bed.

Halima did not assist or come close to see how she was faring. At about 4pm I left for Jide’s house and what I saw blew me.
I saw petals from his door step ,my picture on his door with a caption” I love you beautiful”
I was smiling with tears.

my heart was racing, I saw a sweet note on the floor which directed me to another, and another till I found him in his room filled with balloons, flowers, candles, and a small cake with him kneeling down in the middle of a heart shape flower.

Oh, my goodness! i had millions of emotions running through me. Jide is such a sweet find man i exclaimed!

All I did was to sit close to him and cried my eyes out and the next thing I saw was him crying while prophesying all the sweet words of life to me.

I held him and truly I let go of every bad thing he did. I let go of my hurt,resentment and pain.
I held him to my chest and accepted the ring. It was a beautiful night, i felt like a beautiful woman,he made me feel like a real woman,he took me to cloud 9 and made sure I was satisfied.

As he lay close to me with his eyes closed in deep sleep, I just couldn’t imagine my life without him and immediately it struck in my head that I am engaged!!!!!!!!

I had the best kind of wedding without Tolu in attendance because she said she needed to travel for an important meeting in her hometown.
I moved into Jide’s house after our wedding and by that time I was already pregnant. I took in the night of our engagement, so we had to fast track our wedding preparations.

The only time I had peace was during our honeymoon which was 2weeks, after honey moon, I saw another side of life I won’t wish for my enemy.

Episode VIII

After our wedding I stopped working because my Darling husband wanted me to stop.
I practically lived my life for Jide and nothing I do ever pleases him.

One day after stressing myself with slight fever he came back and start complaining about the food I made, with frustration and anger I shouted at him ” Jide what as come over you ? This is not the man I fell in love with. This is not you Jide, all I see is a beast. You are a beast Jide “

What followed my last statement was a slap. He kicked my 5month pregnancy and everywhere began to turn in my eyes. I tried holding him but he pushed me. I fell with my waist while protecting my tummy. I was ready to die in order to save my child.

He took his car keys and drove out. with my head banging and my soul leaving my body I managed to crawl outside to get help.

Immediately our gate man came to meet me I slowly ask him to please get taxi that will convey me to the hospital.

He got a taxi, and I was rushed to the hospital, thankfully I did not lose my life or child’s life.

I was in the hospital till I put to bed and during my stay in the hospital my husband will bring my cloth,food and leave.

I waited for him to beg.
I waited for him to come and console me but all I got was isolation and heartache.

I could not keep it as a secret again, 2months in the hospital I called my bff instead of my family because I know they won’t forgive him if they find out about his behavior.

They brought things to me, and I felt rejuvenated as we laugh and gist.

Tolu suggested I divorce Jide while Halima was trying to settle the issue and was making me see light at the end.

Tolu replied her “it is better she divorce him before she dies all in the name of marriage, he might not be in love with her”

My heart broke and I looked at her with so much pain
“how can you be so insensitive and stupid ” Halima fired back.

I told them “ I think I want to rest” Tolu apologized and they both left.

I sat down on my bed and allow my tears flow with my heart ripping off.

I laid on the hospital bed with my eyes gazing on my medication with my pillow close to my chest and my legs intertwine with wishes of having my husband close by.

I began to cry and forgot I had someone sharing the room with me.

It is a semi-VIP ward, there is this man who comes to check the elderly woman I am sharing the ward with.

As I was crying slowing at some point I began to cry loud with my eyes closed and my hands squeezing the pillow.

As I was crying, I felt someone’s hand on my head in a soothing movement, it took me few minutes before I turned to see who it was.

A part wished it was my husband but as I turned I saw a dark young man with so much compassion in his eyes.

I was too weak to remove his hands I just burst into more tears, and he said to me ” Life is hard to strong people because life knows they will bounce back”
He sat down on my bed and I rested my head on his shoulders.
I woke up later in the evening with different kind of dishes close to me.

I tried standing up to ask who brought it and he said “ I did not know what your favourite food is so I decided to order all these and you must have a bite of them all”

I could not help but smile and did have a bite of almost ten different kinds of dishes.
I gave the remaining to the hospital workers. Michael and I had a good time gisting and laughing.
It was time for him to leave and I felt my throat drying up. I almost begged him not to leave but I tried not to.

Episode IX

Michael came back from work one evening as we were gisting I began to feel pains without knowing where it was coming from.

It comes at interval and before a nearby nurse will call a doctor my baby head was already out, thank God for Michael swift intervention as he caught my baby and held on to her until my doctor arrived.

After cleaning myself up with the help of a nurse, Michael took my clothes to the Hospital toilet to soaked them; I felt so much peace with him and for the fact he caught my baby, I felt something I knew isn’t right, but I was ready to allow it grow as long as I stay in the hospital.

He asked me to rest while he looks after my baby even though he will need to leave tomorrow morning for work, when I declined, he gave me deaf ears, so I allowed him.

The next day my mom came after telling her I put to be and will be discharge the following day.
Before evening I was already anticipating Michael, anytime the door opens my eyes will be fixed on the door.

By 7:30pm he came with lots of goodies for his mom, my self and some baby clothes. I couldn’t thank him enough. After checking on his mom he came to sit with me, and I did the introduction between my him and my mom which they said their pleasantries.

As he sat down to look at my baby, I rested my head on his shoulders and he gave me this body movement that signifies he was not okay with my act.

I removed it but when he showed me the stuff he got for my baby, I became emotional and caressed his hands which he removed, said good night and left.

I felt my pain doubled; can’t he just understand I am a broken woman who needs affections. He left without looking at me twice.

I asked his mom for his Phone number she said she don’t have a phone.
Morning came for me to be discharge and I kept on praying for a miracle, praying he will come by, but he didn’t.

I left the hospital with a heavy heart and wished I held my self from spoiling my friendship with him.

I got to my house and all I wanted was to run away, there was no joy going home.

Immediately he saw us coming he tried coming to meet our baby and I bounced on him with so much anger releasing slaps and kicks.

He ignored my tantrums and went to carry our baby.
My mom gave the baby to him, hissed and took me inside our matrimonial room.

I wasn’t okay with the outburst, I wanted to do more but mama was there to console me.

After 3months mama left and my husband was not around to drive her home, so I had to get a cab for her.

When mom left, I realize how lonely I am even as a married woman.
I would prepare his food, worm it when he is not around and drop it on the dinner.

He will come back from work eat, play with baby and go to visitor’s room.

I cried every night,
I cried when I can’t sleep because my baby needs me, and my body is exhausted.

I cry knowing this is a lifetime torment and I have no idea of what to do or how to go about it.
One night I could not bear it anymore; I went to knock on his door.

In his word as he opened the door
” I know you will come begging. “
I wanted to unleash my bitterness through words, but I decided to let it slide.

I smiled and asked him if I can share the night with him and he said no problem.
I was on the bed with my rightfully wedded husband, and I was scared to death. I could not touch him! I forgot how to converse with him.

I rested my head on his chest with my hand on his arm and hot painful tears were dropping from my eyes due to the fact that there was no connection anymore.

I could not feel my husband, I could not feel those butterflies his touch sends to my spine.

I saw myself laying with a stranger who happens to be my husband and it doesn’t make sense how everything changed so fast.

He sensed it and gently brought my face to his face with his eyes filled with compassion which melted my heart and I forgot about all he has done.

This is the man I fell in love with!
These eyes were the eyes I looked forward to seeing watching me!

He cleaned my tears with the back of his palm and planted a kiss on my lips which I reciprocated as if my life depends on him.

He rubbed my back with so much gentility.
He asked if I wanted some cookies and drink because he got some while coming back from work and I nodded like a baby.

He got the cookies and drink, we ate it, spoke for long and had a good night as husband and wife.

In the morning I quickly got up to prepare breakfast and while at it he came to hold me from behind and I blushed so hard.

He asked what I was cooking and decided to take over while I attend to baby.
I looked at him with so much admiration as my lips let a smile out with a “Thank you.”

He ate breakfast and ate the maker of breakfast 😜before leaving for work and my day was splendid with me thinking of what to prepare and sexy nightie that I will wear to welcome him back home in the evening.

I felt like a married woman again!

I wore a nice sexy red nightie I got from Dubai.
I was wearing one of my best undiluted Dubai oil perfumes with scented candles on the dining table with wine glasses, Red wine, prawns, barbeque fish, Chips and salad on the waiting patiently for my husband after making sure my baby was sleeping in her room.

I was almost dozing off when he came in and all what I had in mind to do and say to him from the door left my head, but I tried to still be sweet.

My husband looked at me for few minutes before pushing me aside and went upstairs.

I held my chest as if my heart will drop and I told myself not to give up.
I was giving myself reasons why I shouldn’t be sad or upset with him.

Immediately I opened the door of our visitor’s room which he has turned into his room, he shouted ” Woman leave me the hell alone, don’t you understand when your husband is not in the mood, why are you so stupid.”

I almost lost my balance from the shock, I held onto the knob of the door for balance and slowly walked out.

I began to blame myself.

Episode XI

“Why didn’t I notice he was upset and maybe give him some time, why didn’t I ask him what he will like to eat, why, why“

I kept blaming myself even though a part of me was saying.

“it is not your fault“

I got to the dinning with pains in my heart and my soul hurting; I began to fist on the food.

I hit the fish and tore its skin apart; I needed them to feel the pain as if they were the ones that caused it.

I poured so much wine in my glass and drank it all at once. I was still in deep thought when I heard the cry of my baby, and I jerked up.

I went to attend to her and for some reasons I decide to check on my husband. As I got closer I could hear him saying ” i am tired of this your games, I feel we should stop seeing each other. you keep lying about who josh is and it is pissing me off. I think i am done with this mess,don’t call me unless you want me to report everything to my wife”

I blinked my eyes and could not believe my husband will cheat on me (stupid thought). I walked back to my room and stayed awake till the next day with tears, wishes and pain.

The next day I just didn’t know what to do or how to confront him with what I heard; I just swallowed it all in.
I was angry at him and angrier at myself for not speaking up to him or unleashing the horror I had in mind for him.

I wanted to vent but there was no way I could do it, all I did was to cry, and my system was already tired of my tears.

I made sure the house was clean and his food ready but was giving him space.
in the cause of giving him space I realized I was pregnant.

I held on to my result and was looking at it without knowing what to do, I was crying without knowing if it was tears of joy or sadness.

At that moment I accepted my fate and decided to work on my marriage.

I began to see good sides in everything that was happening and was telling myself I forgive my husband of things he will do because there is no way I will leave my marriage when I have 2kids.

I was scared of telling him about our baby but summoned the courage to tell him one night I sensed he was in a good mood.

By this time my baby was 7months and I was 4months gone but my darling husband did not even notice it.

I told him about our baby coming and he said ” How will you be so stupid to get pregnant when our baby is still small, and you will say you went to school. Why do you like spoiling my mood why, don’t you know kids are planned, I mean husband and wife will decide when they want kids”?
at this point he was hitting and shouting
” You must miscarry this baby.“

I was begging my husband.
“please stop, do not hit me for the sake of our child if you don’t love me anymore“

I could not fight him back, I was too weak to protect myself. I was too weak to protect my baby. He kept hitting me and I was still begging him.

I tried looking into his eyes to see if he will look at my eyes and see the pain I am going through.

I was hoping he will see how helpless I was.
I was hoping he will have mercy on me.
I was hoping he will have compassion knowing I have a child inside of me, but he did not.

It was as if every word I said angered him the more because by this time he was kicking my tummy and was slapping my face to the ground with his shoes.

I was begging God to take my life as I was under his brutality.
I was begging God to protect my child.
I was begging God to have mercy.
I was begging God to hold him away from me and my kid but none of these miracles happened because by the time I got to the hospital I was still alive, but my child was gone.

I woke up 4days later in the hospital and the doctor told me my child was gone, I could not cry.

I was done crying, there was no more tears.
It is a different thing when your child dies a natural death than when you know your child die as the result of beating from the person you love.

My baby couldn’t stay strong for mama and left.
I was running mad, my heart was on fire, but I couldn’t show it.
All I did was to bite my lips any time my heart aches.

Episode XII

I laid on the hospital bed thinking how, where and how I might have gone wrong.
I was thinking of what went wrong, what did I do, why did he change.
I was thinking of how we met and how sweet it was until it went sour.

All I was thinking and asking myself is what went wrong.

I wanted to die, I wanted the night to last long, I had this pain I cannot explain, it was a pain of deep hurt.

Mom was with me while Kemi was sent to our family house. I told her what happened, and she promise to deal with Jide.

She refuses me going back to his house but somehow, I just could not let go of him.

He was my missing piece, I felt incomplete without him. I begged my mom to please let me stay with my husband.

I saw the disappointment, but I was not ready to leave my home, my marriage and become a divorce single mother. I was not ready to face the terror that comes with the stigma.
I wanted to manage; I believe no marriage is perfect.

I stayed in the hospital and my husband wasn’t seen anywhere around me. The day I was to be discharge I called him, and he did not pick nor return the call, so we had to use a taxi.

I got to the gate and the gate man refuse opening the gate, I had to come down and drag the gate with him.

I finally fought my way through after slapping the living devil out of our gate man’s face, I barged into our siting room and found my darling husband naked with Tolu beside him.

See, let me try and explain the feeling.

As I saw them, I went numb, no cell in my body worked. It was a combination of hurt betrayal, disappointment, anguish and pain. How can someone hurt the person they promised to love forever?

I could not scream or shout, I could not do anything I just went slowly to get a sit as I watch my husband shamelessly looked for his boxers and Tolu was giving the I don’t care attitude while she got some cover on.

Mom walked in and the sight of what she saw made her slap Jide twice.

She turned to me “is this what you want?
He sent you to the hospital and another woman is keeping him company, Is this what you want?

Episode XIII

Is this the life you want; at this point she was shaking me.
I did not say a word, I did not blink my eyes from Jide I was just looking at him.

My mom asked me to get up let us go to her house, I said no.
“Mummy I will stay here; this is my home.“

Mom dropped what she was holding and said to me, “Chi, I raised you right, your dad and I saw you through school without this efulefu support, you chose him to be your husband, after all these treatment you are still choosing him , any day you need me come home, I will never set my foot in this house.” by the time she was done with the statement she was already crying.

My mom left me, left me all alone with these two monsters. I watched Tolu act in a way that shows she is not remorseful, and I can’t help but question myself where I went wrong, what I did to deserve this betrayal. I stood up and went to my room hoping Jide will come so we talk, so we move on and promise me he was going to do better, love me more and fight for our home.

I know you are angry with me as you read this but what do you expect me to do?
How do you expect me to move on. I love this man, I can’t remember how life was without him, I have his seed and identity, how can i start all over again as a single mother. How?

I sat down waiting for my husband, and he did not come back to me. He left with Tolu; he left me at home to deal with whatever I was going through alone.

I was glad Kemi was with my mom, I was alone in a big house that I wish was a home. I was married but felt so single and broken.

I went to the parlor and saw how messed up it was, a part of me wanted me to leave it another told me to clean it and hold my home.
Tolu must have seen something in Jide that made her cheat with him.

I was ready to save my home.
I cleaned up, got a bath, and was just gulping juice. I had no appetite or strength for food.

I waited till 10pm without any trace of Jide, so I called him to know where he is and to ask if he is coming home.

He said he won’t be coming that we will see the next day.
I was about talking when I heard Tolu voice, all I could say was Jide I still love you.

I dropped the phone and rushed to the bathroom to feel the worm water that comes from the shower, maybe it will help my pain, maybe it will be cool on my open wound.

I wanted the water to wash away my pain, but it seems as though the water was intensifying it.

I kept asking God why, why me, what did I do to deserve this.

The one man I love so much, I never slept or dated a married man, where is this karma coming from?

After the shower I smuggle myself into my bed and allow the night to take it cause.

Episode XIV

Jide came back the next day, I was sitting on our beautiful white cotton fabric, my left hand resting on my forehead as I rest my leg on our center table.

Immediately he walked in I saw my self-esteem, my worth and everything that makes up a being to be defensive leave.

I wanted him to see how helpless I am, how fragile my heart is and how much I love him. He came close to me like someone who is remorseful but far gone from this marriage.

He sat close to me and said “Chi, I know I do not deserve you, and you do not deserve such hurt, I am sorry.”

I raised by eyes to him like a child longing for her mummy’s breast after a long day of starvation.

My eyes were filled with tears, and I told him” Jide, you hurt me so hard, but I love you harder, give us a chance “ by this time I was reaching to touch his soft worm hands, but he adjusted himself without looking at me and replied “ Chi, I want a divorce. The life I have tasted with Tolu I can’t let it go and moreover we are having our wedding next week. I can’t do this again; I do not fancy you anymore especially after birthing Kemi. The folds on your tummy, the fallen breast, stretch mark and your body isn’t tight anymore. All these things happened all at once and my head is not accepting it. I realize I like crazy things which you will never do. I guess we rushed things, I am deeply sorry, but this is not working.“

I grabbed him, held him like my life depend on him, I begged him, I asked him to teach me things Tolu is doing, I begged him to make me act like Tolu, I was ready to give up everything for Jide. I promised to do anything on my body that will entice him.

I held on to him and pleaded for him not to leave me and his kid, I begged, cried, shouted like a mad woman but all fell on deaf ears.

He was done while I was still hoping for a Miracle.
He was the one who hurt me, dash our dreams away but I was the one begging for a second chance.

He released himself and went into the room. After about 30minutes while I was still in shock and soaked in my tears he came out with his bags and some items.

I did not move; I did not say a word I just stare at the love of my life going to another woman while I am helpless.

He left without looking at me twice, deep down I was praying for an instant miracle, but he left me..

He left me inside the home we bought to build forever memories inside.

He left me with unanswered questions.
He left me with pains I don’t wish for my enemy.

Episode XV

I was all alone in the house; I did not eat or took my bath for 24hours.

on the second day I called Halima, and all I could say was come home I am dying.

Halima must have flown to my house because she came so fast and on time.

She came into the house and found me sitting on our sofa, looking weak and pale.

She helped me to shower, quickly made cereal for me while I was on it, she went out to get food and fruits.

She came back, packed the plate I used for the cereal gave me fruits, and took me to the parlor.
After 15minutes I ate some Ofada rice, pepper sauce with fresh mango juice.

After eating I slept off and woke up much later in the day feeling a bit stronger.

When I woke up Halima forced me to bath again, eat some food while watching the television.

While at it, she asked what happened. I explained everything in between tears, and she said ” I never liked Tolu, but it worsens the day I saw her and Jide at the cinema during that period you both were having issues. I could not tell you because I know how much you love him and every day, I silently pray u find out who Tolu is without me saying a word first”?

Her words made me feel worst, but I had to accept reality and move on.

She stayed for two more days before leaving, after she left, I removed my ring, took my things and Kemi items and left for my family house. saying goodbye to the house I dreamt of living till old age with the love of my life was hard and knowing he chose my friend over me kills me every time the though comes to mind.

Moving on from such betrayal is hard but I thank God for people like Halima and my family who were there to help me through it all.

Days turn into weeks, weeks into month and months into 2years without having Jide or hearing from him.

He did not come to check on his daughter or even supported in anyway.

I began job hunting because staying at home was slowing my healing process.

Luckily for me one noon while playing with Kemi I got a call that I was selected, and I got the job. I was asked to reply to my mail on or before 24hours.

I rushed to my mail and responded immediately. The pay was nice and not too far from home.

I started working and life was becoming beautiful, some days are hard no doubt but moving on was my goal.

Kemi still ask of daddy once in a while, but I was already getting use to my single life, so it don’t get to me like before.

Halima still keeps in touch; she and her husband were my only friend apart from my family. Yes, she was married by this time and was even expecting a child.

We hang out and sometimes do dinner or lunch at each other’s house.

We did not hear from Tolu or Jide or know what was happening with them.

One noon while at work a fine gentle man in his back suit and brown quality leather shoe came to make enquiries and I was the person in charge of it.
Immediately I saw his face I remembered him with my eyes fixed to him he said “You”

He smiled and said “it is nice seeing you gain” we said pleasantries and after making enquiries he left.

Memories of love that I have been trying to put behind came flooding in my heart.
I was happy to see him, but I was scared for the unknown.
What if he is married?
What if he doesn’t love me or can ever want to settle for a single mother with tummy fold, fallen breast etc. when we have single ladies? I soaked my pillow with tears and wished my love life with Jide was a dream I can wake up from.

I caused having anything with him, I wished I never joined that app, I was wishing for things that were impossible and having his seed with me hurts the most. Do not get me wrong, I love my child but the fact I had her with a monster hurt me. This was not the life I planned for my kids.

Episode XVI

Michael came to my office again, and this time around he came with a box of doughnuts, drinks and chocolate.

I ask for what and he said for me.

I was curious to know why, he said he thought of what to get me and decided to get me this.

I told him thank you but is that how you buy things for every woman?

His countenance showed he was not pleased with it but acted fine and said, “I can take them if you don’t want it.“

I said thank you and kept them under my sit while I ask him why he was here.

He said he came to see me but guess I am not in the mood, apologized and left.

I wanted to run after him but held myself.

What is wrong with me, is it that I am not destined to be happy? I asked myself.
My day was messed up, but I manage to pull through, after working I went home and unlike me, I went to bed straight up without having normal chill chat with my parent and Kemi.

I would have called Michael but I do not have his number so I just let it be, hoping he will come again.

Days, weeks and months past and he did not come.
Every day was a struggle, but I manage to pull through.

Every day as I go to work, I silently pray for him to come but he never did.

I could not take it any longer I went in searched of our client’s logbook to get his number and lucky for me his number and name was there.

I was excited for the number and called it immediately I got home, and a lady picked.

My heart sized, I manage to say hello and she responded, I asked if Michael was busy, she said he was using the bathroom and asked who I was.
” Tell him Chinyere Okoro called” I said and immediately cut the call.

Immediately I cut the call, I held my heart and cried bitterly.

Maybe love is not for me, I said to myself.

Episode XVIII

After about an hour he called back, and I could not pick it.

I wanted him gone; this is the second time I am being hurt by him even when we are not dating.

I did not pick and I later block and deleted his number.

The next day while I was at work, an unknown number called, and I picked.

As the caller replied to my hello my ears recognize the voice and my heart melted.

I remember the voice; it was that of Michael.
I was happy he tried with another number; he asked why I blocked him.

I said, “I don’t want any trouble with your wife.”
He laughed and said “Woman, that was my sister, my baby sister. I am not married pleaseeee”

It was as if I was revived, my heart was jumping in excitement, and I told him sorry for concluding so fast.

We talked and my day went well.
How communication grew stronger each day and I realize I was falling and seeing him as a resting place. however, sometimes my complex issues make me overreact and he will just brush my shenanigans off.

He finally asked for a date, and it was a beautiful night, his actions were perfect, he knew what to do at the right time. He knows questions to ask and how to go about it.

I explained all that happened in my marriage, told him my fears and insecurities and he held my hands and said” I am not loving you for your beauty, body or anything the eyes can see. I love your soul and to me you are perfect.“

My tears were rushing down with reckless abandon, and I was looking at him deep into his eyeballs to be sure of what he is saying. with tears i said “ are you sure, are you saying this out of pity, please tell me the truth my heart can’t afford another heartbreak.”

He held my hands so tight and said,” I swear on my life, as long as you never change I promise to love you till, we leave this earth.”

This was an answer prayer, how can he love me with all my past when he has none, his words were like the medicine I needed all these years to heal my wound. we hugged so tight, and he allowed me to soak his shirt with my tears.

He said he loved my touch in the hospital years ago but could not sin against God.
I was impressed!

We ate, spoke and had fun.

He asked me out on our second date, and I gladly accept to be his girlfriend.

He reassures me every now and then that I am a treasure, my body was perfect and everything about me his good and I am enough for him.

Some days are tough, but he knows I am healing so he overlooks some tantrums and love me deeply.

He was a brother, friend, boyfriend and a good father to Kemi.
Kemi calls him pa; they bond so well and every day I thank God for a second chance of love.

After dating for a year and 6months he asked me to marry him with the help of my parent and Halima and I crazily accepted.

We got married in a beach house and I could not have asked for a better partner.

A year later we welcome our son and Michael was my answer prayer. He was everything I prayed and wish for.
One evening while having our usual Saturday Movie night. A number that is not stored called my phone and I picked.

I inquired who the caller was, and he said Jide Babalola.

I was shocked and cut the phone immediately, Michael asked what the problem was, and I told him Jide called. He said “OKAY” and continue with his movie.

I became restless, why was he calling after all these years. is he done with Tolu; does he want me back.? He kept on calling and I kept declining it. Michael asked me to pick it, I refused, and he let it slide.

Jide kept calling with different numbers and my mom also said he has been calling her too. Michael demanded I pick the call after a week of constant calls.

I picked and he ask we see, immediately I said ” What are we seeing for ” Michael collected the phone and introduce his self as my husband and walked out with the phone to continue the discussion far from me.

i sat down and was waiting patiently for him to come back and I warned myself not to let Jide cause any problem in my home. Yes, I am still healing from his love, but I was ready to forget him forever.

Michael came back and said “He wants to ask for your forgiveness, Honey and I think you should hear him out”
I Shouted “never“

he is my past and will always remain in the past. I walked out of Michael and went to my room to cry; I sincerely cannot explain why I was crying but my teary gland had to dispose some water.

he kept calling and begging for us to see, so after 2months I decided to see him in mom’s house.

I went with my husband and kids, and he came with Tolu.

Immediately I saw her I wanted to stand up and leave but Michael held me down. I sat down with my eyes on my toes, they all said pleasantries without me saying anything to anyone. they sat down and Tolu was the first to talk.

“Chi, you were a friend more than a sister and I betrayed you because of jealousy. Right from secondary school you have been smart and somehow you get the best of everything. I tried fighting this jealousy, but it was not leaving and when we began to stay together and you discussing things with me it kept intensifying it. I tried CHI, I tried to stop it, but I could not. when I saw Jide the first day in our apartment I wanted him to myself, you cannot be getting all the good things of life, I said to myself. I am sorry, I was actually the one that seduce him, told him evil things about you and how you are a runs girl etc. I said a lot of things I cannot speak of now, please it was caused by jealousy. I used your phone to send him messages as if you were the one who tried sending it to another guy, I did a lot of Chi, I am sorry. The day you saw someone that looked like me in his area it was me, I was hiding in a room, and we had to drug you. Jide loved you, all he did to you was caused by me. He thought u were a cheater. I begged him never to tell you because you will know I told him since you do it on a low. Chi, I am sorry. I said a lot and did a lot, the car i brought then was bought by him. There are days I saw him cry because of hurt from you and my jealous and anger intensify towards you. days he hit me because he was sad or depress due to how your relationship was going on and off. we got married but he became a beast so i had to leave for my life. I ran away one day and promise to start all over and be a better person. I got married but till date I have no child and my home is not sweet. I have gone for prayers and they keep saying I offended someone who I need to apologies to. Chi, I know you will not give me audience so i had to confess to Jide and also use him to come here. I know I have hurt you please forgive me, please I beg of you” She was saying everything in-between tears and if there is another word for shock I will love to use it.

Never in my widest dream will I believe or imagine that Tolu, my own friend who will share things, discuss and stay together had evil intension for me, I felt nauseate.

I could not speak, i was just crying. Michael was rubbing my hands and as i looked at Jide, he was crying and somehow my heart melted for him. I stood up and was about to leave when Jide rush towards me and knelt down. “I know no amount of sorry will bring us back or heal your heart, but I want you to know i love you so much and I will forever love you, please forgive me whenever you can, I caused this and i will live with it. I love you Chi and please allow me to be seeing Kemi, she is all I have got.” He got up and went to Michels ” Thank you for stepping in and took care of them, please promise me you will allow me see Kemi.”

Michael said “I promise.“

I told Michael to take me home and walked out immediately, Michael followed me with the kids, and we drove home. in silence.

It took me time to forgive, but I finally did, and I allowed Jide to see Kemi whenever he wants. Jide later got married to another lady and had children with her. Tolu had a child too the last time I heard from her. i am living happily with my husband and 4kids and I can boldly tell you, no matter what you have been through, your past and pain there is always a chance to smile again, do not ruined it.

No matter your insecurities, failiure, hurt and past, there is someone who will love.

when they disrespect you the first time, they will do it again and again, you will get what you do not rebuke.

Not everyone that smiles, clap and try to be friends or act friendly is truly your friend, not everyone you will discuss your happiness and wins with. Life is deeper than you think, and you will never know the heart of human.

THE END